Mock Turkey

This retro vegetarian roast predates modern meat substitutes by decades. Rolled oats soaked in hot water form the base, bound with eggs, ground walnuts, ground sunflower seeds, and peanut butter into a mixture firm enough to shape by hand into a turkey form, complete with celery stalk legs and little oat-mixture wings.

The flavor profile leans heavily on poultry seasoning (sage, thyme, marjoram, rosemary) so it actually tastes like a holiday roast. Sea kelp adds a savory, umami depth that mimics the richness you’d get from actual poultry drippings. It’s an unusual ingredient but it does real work here.

The nuts and seeds provide both protein and fat, giving each slice a dense, satisfying chew. Ground walnuts in particular have a slightly meaty texture when baked that works better than most other nuts for this purpose.

Oiling the outside before baking creates a golden, slightly crisp skin that holds the shape together. After 45 minutes the center should be set and firm, not wet or crumbly.

Pro Tips

• Grind the walnuts and sunflower seeds to a coarse meal, not a fine powder. Some texture keeps the loaf from being pasty.
• Let the oats absorb the hot water fully before mixing in the other ingredients. Dry oats will steal moisture from the eggs and make the mixture too dry to shape.
• Loosen the finished roast carefully with a spatula before transferring. It’s fragile when hot and firms up as it cools.
• Serve with mushroom gravy for the full holiday experience.

Variations

• Skip the turkey shape and press the mixture into a loaf pan for easier slicing.
• Add sautéed mushrooms and celery to the mixture for more vegetable depth.
• Replace the peanut butter with tahini if nut allergies are a concern (keep the walnuts or substitute with pepitas).